Day 3 - Faith

Day 3

I wake up in tears this morning. Went to bed with tears, fall asleep crying and wake up continuing crying. I felt so lost...

Sunday morning...I used to talk with him few minutes before church. It always made my day. I always feel like I have something to look forward on the day. Knowing that someone loves and cares for me.

Sigh..

I don't know why after last night paralyzing emotional torture, there's still hope in my heart. Hope that we'll be together someday. I did a prayer to God, to heal my broken heart. Somehow He gave me peace and restored my faith. Now my faith is growing bigger.

My believes of him and I, feels stronger. I feel like a brand new hope injected in me.
Maybe I'm in denial?

But I believe in God. I trusts His plan. I have faith in his way.

I feel like I should keep my head high and my heart higher up to him. And nothing else matter that much as long as I have my God.

God is good. Thinking back, I've learned so much of life through the relationship I had with him. I asked God for patience, strength, faith...and he gave me in the ways that I have to earn and earn it. This year is not really a good. I had a couple of months of love...but three months back..was disappointing and heartbreaking.

I'm not going to get back to the way was, before I met him. I'm not going back to that dark place.
Back where I was so depressed and thinking of killing myself everytime I couldn't handle it. I've crawled out of that place -with his helped...and even though things are not what I imagine how it would be now.. I refuse to be depressed and suicidal again!

I have Jesus on my side now. And I know God works on me through him. I know we both served a purpose on each other's life. But somehow I feel, it's not finished yet..

I still have faith!

I can't explained it. But I believe.

I might be wrong. But I have a feeling something great is up ahead. I'm letting God work on me, and I only need to be still and TRUST Him. Have FAITH in Him. Believe.

Today was good....