Day 10
Trying to find peace on prayers. I lost myself for the past few days. My faith was wearing thin and I was a wreck today. I cried until I can't cry anymore. I felt weak and hurt all over.
I astonished myself sometime. I've been pretending to look normal when my inside is falling apart, for years I'm getting good at it. If the walls in my bedroom could talk, they be telling stories about the days I cried. I cried my heart out in bedroom, and as soon as I open the door I stopped the sad face and act normal. I'm getting good of pretending, I don't know who I am anymore..
Sometimes I wonder if he ever get sad or think of me. I wonder if he ever recalls our best moments together, coz thats the part where I hold the most to keep going. I wonder..and wondering draws to tears.
I needed to flush it out. And I need to get a grip of myself. I need to find my faith again. I need to get on the path where the Lord wants me. I need to stop the tears, and start living. I love him, I still do, but I need to let go of the things I can't change. Give my heart to the Lord and let Him mend the broken pieces.
I need some time to get myself back together. I need to find my faith again..
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