Day 15 - Crashed

Day 15

I am Depressed.

I am going crazy.

I don't know what happen. I just lost it today. I don't think I am okay, at all.

I'm giving up. I don't think God wants me happy. I was my lowest after I left college.. and a few years after that, I met him. Life seems going good, for the both of us. Then, God takes him away. Took that happiness away. I feel like God wants me to crash once again. I feel like my feelings are being played....

Like, seriously!?

I already don't have a life! Now, taking the man I love? Please give me a break!

Sigh.

I am going nuts! I rushed home from work, straight to my bedroom and cried for an hour. Just fall down on my knees and cried. I'm giving up. It's 5 days into the novena and I don't see any sign, in fact, he recorded a song today, and he looks happy.

Am I forgotten?

Should I even pray the novena for St Jude intersession to rekindle this relationship?

I am falling apart. I missed him. I want him.

What is wrong with me? Sigh...I don't even know what to write about.

I totally lost it today. I don't know what is it that makes me this weak. This ups and downs feeling is getting the best of me. I give up. I probably be okay tomorrow and crash again the next. 

Today was not a good day. I think my depression is back. 

I think I may need some counseling and medication this time.

Because, I can't..